Winning in Business Realize your potential. By Boris Revsin.

Email II: Emotion

Read my initial tips on email here.

Since I wrote my initial article on email (link), I’ve been saving myself some time by pointing people to it whenever they ask me to read over an email. It covered the basics: grammar, emphasis, clarity, calls to action etc.

This post is about emotion. That’s right, you can convey urgency and commitment through your writing. Pretty neat concept, especially because it means a LOT more of your emails will be answered. People will start to take some time to read your stuff. They are going to LOVE reading your stuff, because they will feel like it MATTERS to you that they read and respond.

They key to writing an email like the one I described above is actually caring about the person on the other side. Put aside, for one moment, your own aspirations with the email. Think about what the person receiving the email WANTS to hear. What will make it easier/more fun/more lucrative for them to deal with the problem at hand. Let’s say, for example, you’re writing an email in response to a Craigslist advertisement for a position demoing a new brand name tonic water.

Here is Response #1

Hello,
I recently viewed your listing on craigslist.com for the product demo staff.
I am a young, energetic, sociable person with past experience in market
promotions for products. I recently did a market promotion for the company
Garnier Fructis on The University of Massachusetts, Amherst campus. I am
currently seeking a career in marketing and think that I would be a great
fit for what you are looking for. I can provide references, and I have
attached my resume to this email. Thanks you.

Matt H.

The first email is just fine. It answers the basic questions that are presented with the posting, and tells Jenn (our email recipient) everything she really NEEDS to know about Matt. But Jenn isn’t looking for just anybody. She, as most motivated people do, takes pride in her work. She doesn’t want a guy with a college degree and an “interest in marketing” for this position. She’s looking for someone who is interested in HER and her PRODUCT. She’s looking for a bit of passion.

And here is Response #2

Hi Jenn,

I’m very, very interested in this opportunity. Is there a good time to call you, or should I just pick up the phone and dial?

I did a bit of research into Product X and I think that the Amherst-Hadley-Northampton market is going to work quite well with a product like this. I’ve lived in Amherst for over 5 years, and as I’m sure you know, a little bit of smart marketing could make a great impression in the area. I drove over to the Whole Foods in Hadley and picked up a few bottles for myself and my friends (the four pack). This is great stuff with awesome potential.

The work I did with Garnier was fun - and I enjoyed doing it - but my background has always been in the startup environment. Prior to my stint at Garnier, I was an intern at a local advertising startup for two years. In fact, Boris, the founder of the company was my roommate during that time, and was an excellent sound board for many of my questions. The CampusLIVE team has been recognized in a variety of press, including BusinessWeek and Entrepreneur Magazine. I’ve copied Boris onto this email in case you wanted some more background about me.

Jenn: I would LOVE the opportunity to be the “face” of Product X in the area, and I like to think that I could help you get this going in some more locations.

Please let me know when I can give you a call, and we’ll get the ball rolling.

Thank you,

Matt H.

The second email connects the dots. It shows that Matt has experience, passion, drive and CARES about the product. I mean, look, he even DROVE down to pick up a few samples. Not a bad way to start off a relationship. Think about this: you’re hiring for an entry level position. You aren’t dumb, you know that college grads are a dime a dozen right now. You can pick the best that there is, and still get them cheap. What will differentiate you from the pack? Your resume? Maybe, but we all know 50% of people lie on their resumes. Plus, at this point, I can pick the best resumes and still have dozens of people to pick from.

The difference my friends - and this is how I hire: emotion.

Cheers!